Bully Free Alberta

TIPS

What to do if you are bullied.

If someone is bullying you, tell an adult you can trust. This isn't ratting. Adults can do things to get the bullying stopped. Even if you think you've solved the problem on your own, tell an adult anyway, in case it happens again. An adult you can trust might be a teacher, school principal, parent, someone from your family, or a friend's parent. If you find it difficult to talk about being bullied, you might find it easier to write down what's been happening to you and give it to an adult you trust.

If you are being bullied try the S.A.F.E. solutions:

Stand up for yourself in appropriate ways.

DO

• Stand proud.
  
  
• Make eye contact.
  
  
• In a calm and assertive tone, tell the person who is bullying you to stop.
  
  
• Walk away.
  
  

DON'T

• Put yourself down by saying "I'm a loser" or "Everyone hates me."
  
  
• Ignore the bullying.
  
  
• Show you're upset.
  
  
• Escalate the situation by matching the bullying behaviour.
  
  
• Use your power in a negative way to stop the bullying.
  
  

USE

• Straight talk:
  
  
• "Stop (name). I don't like it."
  
  
• "Leave me alone."
  

   

Ask a friend or adult to help

DO

• Ask a friend to help you.
  
  
• Make sure you are part of a group.
  
  
• Ask adults for help, and keep asking until you get it. Keep them informed of the situation.
  
  

DON'T

• Think it's ratting to ask for help.
  
  
• Suffer in silence - silence allows it to continue.
  
  

• A calm voice to explain what happened.

Figure out your choices

DO

• Think about different ways to handle it (humour sometimes works but it could also make the situation worse. Trust your instincts to help you decide).
  
  
• Avoid unsafe situations, and identify a safe place you can go to if you are being bullied.
  
  
• Realize that it's not worth getting hurt to save possessions.
  
  

DON'T

• Suffer in silence.
  
  

USE

• Problem-solving skills to figure out how to resolve the situation. Should you stand up to the bully or walk away? Should you ask a friend to help or find an adult to tell?

End it calmly

DO

• Refuse to listen or believe anything the person bullying said.
  
  
• Treat the person bullying the way you like to be treated.
  
  
• Think about what you have learned.
  
  

DON'T

• Fight or name-call. This will make it worse or start it all over.
  
  
• Hold grudges. You'll waste too much energy thinking about the past.

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What to do if you see someone being bullied.

There are many possible ways to deal with bullying. Trust your instincts to help you decide which solution is best for the situation at hand.

Care about others.

DO

• Ask yourself how you would feel if the bullying was happening to you.
  
  
• Offer to help the victim.
  
  
• Tell the person who is bullying to stop it.
  
  
• Put your arm around the person being bullied, and walk away with them.
  
  
• Give the victim ideas to solve the problem.
  
  
• Invite the person to hang out with you and your friends.
  
  
• Tell the victim something you like about them - you can really make a difference in
  that person's life.
  
  

DON'T

• Tell the victim it's no big deal.
  
  
• Walk away without helping.
  
  
• Watch the bullying without getting involved - watching bullying is like you are doing the bullying yourself.
  
  
• Use your power in an aggressive way to stop the bullying - set a good example for others.
  
  

Ask an adult for help.

DO

• Go tell an adult and ask for help.
  
  
• Let your friend know it isn't ratting to report the bullying.
  
  

DON"T

• Handle it yourself by bullying back. Set a good example for others.
  
  
• Discourage the victim from telling an adult.
  
  

Remember to reach out

DO

• Check with the person regularly to show that you care.
  
  
• Treat everyone the way you want to be treated, including the person who is bullying.
  
  

DON"T

• Ignore a person who has been bullied.
  
  
• Get friends to fight with the person bullying. Encourage them to become friends with the person who has bullied

End it

DO

• Let the person know you are willing to help with any future bullying problems.
  
  
• Trust them to let you know if help is needed.
  
  
• Be a mentor - develop a reputation for being a person who uses their power in positive ways to solve problems and help others.
  
  
• Be a leader - work with others to start antI-bullying programs in your school or community.
  
  

DON'T

• Keep coming up to the person daily to see if the bullying has started again.
  
  
• Underestimate your ability to make a difference in the lives of others.

Note: Both the S.A.F.E. and C.A.R.E. are recommended by The Alberta Teachers' Association.

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What to do if you are bullying others.

1. Make the choice to stop bullying right now.
2. If you have been bullying someone, tell that person you are sorry and that the bullying will stop.
3. Think of a person most people like. Watch how they treat others and start to use some of the same behaviour.
4. Tell your friend's parents, a teacher or an adult you trust that you have stopped bullying. Ask for their help and support. After all, doing things differently will be scary at first because it's new.
5. Make it your job to do two nice things everyday without looking for thanks.
6. Be patient. It will take time for others to see you've changed.
7. Try to make new friends. Think about kids who are friendly and like some of the same things you do. Don't try and be the boss.
8. Realize that what you are doing takes courage, and it will feel good with time.
   

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What to do if you are cyberbullied

Here's what you can do:

• Guard contact information. Don't give strangers your cell phone number, instant messaging name or e-mail address.

If you are being harassed online, take the following actions immediately:

• Tell an adult you trust - a teacher, parent or older sibling.
  
  
• Leave the area or stop the activity (i.e. chat room, news group, online gaming area, instant messaging, etc.).
  
  
• If you are being bullied through e-mail or instant messaging, block the sender's messages. Never reply to harassing messages.
  
  
• Save any harassing messages and forward them to your Internet Service Provider (i.e. Hotmail or Yahoo).
  
  
• If the bullying includes physical threats, tell the police as well.
  
  
• Take a stand against cyberbullying with your peers. Speak out
  whenever you see someone being mean to another person online.

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